'You Should Be Raped If You Dress Indecently'

‘If you dress indecently, you deserve to be raped.’

Hey people, how has it been going? I have been so busy with work that I have not had the time to write on this blog, but this particular topic has been on my mind for quite some time and I decided to do a post about it today.

Over the years, especially in churches, we are always told that you should not wear a sleeveless dress so you will not be raped. I have noticed that this gospel of rape is only preached to the female folk and more often than not, men are never taught to rape. There are so many rules that have to do with women and rape. Do not wear indecent clothes, do not visit a guy, do not walk around at night, keep yourself and all the other truckload of trash that is sung to us in different places. In religious insitituions, at home and even on social media.

Why exactly do we spare boys the sermon of rape? I mean, all the rules we are always dishing out to the female folk, what if people do not rape? The world would be a better place, won’t it? It is almost 2020, while you are filling your daughter’s ears with your word which is the gospel about rape, do not forget your son too.

Tell your son that being aroused by an armpit is a mental illness. Someone once told me not to wear a sleeveless dress. In his words ‘if you are raped now, you will complain. Why not do what you can do to prevent it?’ I am sorry, I will not be a party to that kind of teaching.

Last week, I had a talk with my sister and we talked about gender-based violence. I made her understand what gender-based violence is about and I was glad that when I came to the way you dress, she said ‘if they are saying that the way someone is dressing causes rape, what about the small-small children that have been raped?’ I was so proud of my sister for saying that because we need to talk about it. I remember putting it up on my WhatsApp story and someone obviously had an issue with it. I will have this same talk with my brother before I go back.

The way a lady dresses is not a reason why she should be raped. Go to the beach and rape all the women wearing bikinis since they are arousing you. Let us talk about your uncontrollable sexual urge too. I feel if you see a woman and immediately, sex is all that you see, you have a mental problem and you should seek help. The earlier we stop justifying this societal menace by bringing up some lame conversations and asking questions like ‘what was she wearing?’ the better it will be for our society as regards gender-based violence. We have slowly moved from dealing with the rapist to victim shaming. That is why when a victim of rape comes out to talk about it, many people join the bandwagon to point fingers at the victim asking countless idiotic questions.

2019 was an eye-opening year for me as regards gender-based violence, especially in Nigeria. I read so many stories as regards gender-based violence and the responses I was reading made me sick. Someone is talking about domestic violence, she even showed you the level of damage that has been done on her body and you are saying she should be submissive and pray? You are quoting the book of Ephesians for the person? Is it the book of Ephesians going to heal the victim of abuse when he/she is at the point of death? Or is Paul going to heal the victim? Will those telling you to pray when you are in a violent relationship come through for you when you are abused? Oh, and when someone is strong enough to share a rape experience, people are quick to dismiss the story asking questions like ‘why are you talking about it now? Do you want to destroy a man of God or a family man?’

I have moved slowly from rape to various forms of abuse because it is necessary. If you are an abuse enabler, use 2019 to think about your life and why you should choose to be a better person in 2020. Plan to be more enlightened and if you have nothing reasonable to say especially when it has to do with abuse, say nothing, please. Do not be a pick me Princess or Prince this year.

Most women have a pepper spray in their handbags when they are on their way out, most women are scared to go out at night, not for the fear of robbers, but rapists, most mothers are even so paranoid about rape that they do not trust their husbands when they are being too cosy with their female kid, most kids that are raped did not wear seductive clothes and lastly, it will interest you to know that most women who are victims of rape were not indecently dressed so why exactly are we even talking about dressing and not self-control? Lack of self-control is what will lead you to think every female is a sex object and you get an erection from just seeing the shadow of a lady. Besides, the internet is littered with photos of men who are shirtless and I have not heard that someone raped them because of that. Countries, where women are completely covered up, have a large record of rape. Dressing is never the case of rape!

This article was all over the place, but I am sure I made my point. Look at the bullet points down below to get a summary of my points.
  • The way a woman dresses is never a reason to rape her. There is no justificati0n for rape. You can take this to the bank or use me as a case study in your church. I said what I said.
  • Submission is not the solution to abuse.
  • Prayer is not a solution to abuse.
  • Boys should be taught self-control, sex education and how to respect women. Do not fail to do your homework as a parent for your male child. I feel they need the training more than the females.
  • Victim shaming makes you come off as a potential rapist which you actually are, amend your ways in 2020.
  • A rape victim can decide to talk about it anytime the person feels comfortable.
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Leave a comment down below let me know what you think and do not forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel if you haven’t. Cheers.

Ps: I have been vibing to Fireboy’s Vibration. I love that song!

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