New Age, New Energy!

My birth month was a depressing one, I almost had to seek medical help.

Hi guys, it has been really dusty over here as I haven’t blogged in like forever. I mean, I have focused my energy on writing for other people that I almost forget what blogging here feels like. This is my safe place, my breath of fresh air where I let it all out, but in almost two months, I have been more interested in making money that writing here which is why I have been feeling really blue.

I turned 23 two weeks ago and what was supposed to be an exciting experience for me turned out to be a depressing one. Okay, a little back story, I thrive on lists. As an undergraduate, I had a daily list.
This is what my list as an undergraduate looked like
Wake up
Brush my teeth
Take a bath
Have breakfast
Go for lectures
After lectures
Have a nap
Have lunch
Do the dishes
After reading
Have dinner
Do the dishes
Use the internet

For someone who had a day all figured out as an undergraduate, you can imagine what my plan for life will be like. I had a list of the things I should have achieved when I turned 23. I wasn’t going to pursue the Master’s degree I was supposed to pursue even though I got a scholarship. I didn’t get the scholarship that I wanted. I haven’t achieved a whole lot of things that I planned to achieve. So, instead of being grateful for life on my birthday, I was wallowing in self-pity. That self-pity is still a problem till now.

Last week was not a good one for me. I had serious issues with a client of Fiverr and dude was lucky it was Fiverr. I mean, leave that platform and tell me something like that. The stuff made me kind of depressed and non-challant about the platform that I do not even give my all when I am replying clients anymore. I talked to a couple of friends and they tried to cheer me up, but you know when you just feel empty and exhausted. That was how I was feeling. Anyway, this new week alone, I have like four deliverables and as a freelancer, it is such a big deal for me. I got my biggest order on Fiverr this week. The sad part is I am not even as excited as I am supposed to be.

I have learned to embrace the process and maybe ditch having lists for everything. It really is not healthy. When you have a list and you look back, it might seem that there is traffic in your area. However, if you learn to notice the small wins that you have, you will be happier. Notice that you travelled and came back without any scratch, you have food to eat, you are making progress in your career, you have friends that are there for you, you have a good relationship that you are in, you are taking courses online, you are just making an effort to be a better person, someone better than your former self.

If you keep on being grateful for the little wins, it is not going to be difficult when the big win comes. For me, I am trying to figure out how to be grateful for this big win that I have this week which includes seeing a new month and having so much money-bringing stuff that makes me really happy. Maybe if I appreciated turning 23, waking up, having a good place to stay, getting a scholarship even though it is not the one I wanted and having something to do that brings me money it will be easier, life will be easier.

Appreciate what you have now, enjoy the small wins and do not just sit there for a miracle, work hard. Do not just sit there waiting for your situation to change without making an effort. You want to travel abroad to study? How many schools have you applied to? How many admissions do you have? How many conferences have you applied for? If you want to change your job, it is time to get up and start applying for jobs. Do not sit there complaining like the Israelites and waiting for a better job when you are not even making an effort to apply for other jobs. Just get up from there and do something really spectacular about your situation.  We are almost at the end of the year, make a good decision that will count in the long run.
Happy new month guys and I promise to write more often, I will try to write here more often. I don’t want my domain name to expire when I have not really used it.


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