Is It Wrong For A Married Man To Have A Girlfriend?

"I want us to be..."

Last week was a crazy and hectic week for me. I had a lot of deliverables and the time wasn't on my side at all. I planned to rest during the weekend, but that didn't pan out well. I still have a lot of work to do. I am just going to publish, share and go to bed. How have you guys been?

Blez travelled to Nigeria, so I have not been able to get information as regards Bella since the NAPTIP encounter. I am glad he is back to Benin, we can kick it off from there. Sorry about my inconsistencies, work is trying to come in the way, but I will try to do better.

I was supposed to publish our INK-HWM (I Never Knew He Was Married) segment yesterday, but as I said, I was busy with work. I took out time to post this story. Read, leave a comment and share.

Things were hard at home; my dad had no job, my mum's provision business just collapsed due to lack of funds to restock her shop. So instead of staying idle, she decided to go into fruit business. I had just graduated from secondary school, so I was practically inactive as there was no money to go and learn any handwork, coupled with JAMB wahala.

So I decided to assist my mum in the fruit business thing, she had a stand in this building material complex at Abule Ado, and it comprises of mostly Anambra people.

There was this regular customer of ours then, due to our faith we don't sell on Saturdays. He asked why we don't come on Saturdays, I told him, I am an Adventist, we worship on Saturdays, so no business.
That was how he came up with the gist that he has a brother who attends our church. I then asked his name, he mentioned it, and I told him the name didn't sound familiar, he then said he would be coming to his shop in the evening, and he would introduce us. I said no problem, I then went and told my mum about the guy. Evening came, I went back to the shop saw the brother, and he was looking strange to me, I asked him where he worshipped, he mentioned my district. I wondered how come I hadn't seen him all my life; he then told a story how he was living around Yaba and was worshipping in Maryland before packing into satellite and worshipping in Festac, to be sure I asked him who the First elder was, no idea. What about the pastor, no idea. Haaa! How come you have worshipped in Festac, and you don't know the name of your pastor or first elder. He was now like he hasn't been around and all, and indeed in the later years, the brother was hardly coming to church, so I figured why he didn't know their names.

I took my mum to him, they greeted, and he narrated the same thing he told me, so my mum was like I'll see you on Saturday then, he said yes.

Saturday came, and we found out he was married, and his wife was preggy for their first child. He was newly married. That was when my mum pulled my ears and told me to back out, even without her telling me; I knew he was no go area. But Oga refused to let me have my peace, kept disturbing me and all. I told him, but you are married, and he said, "Ehen! Is it wrong for a married man to have a girlfriend?" I told him I don't know, but I don't want us to be friends.

It got to a point my mum noticed because even on Sundays, he would call that I should come and see him, but I refused. It didn't end till I got admission into the school and he stopped calling me. His brothers even laughed at him too for not knowing.

We got to church and he was sitting close to a woman who was pregnant, my mum out of curiosity asked who she was, and he said she was his wife. I was sitting behind him, so I didn't know what was going on, but my mind told me she might not. Till we got home, I asked my mum, and she confirmed it that he was married.
In my first 2nd year, he called me and was complaining about how I didn't tell him; I got admission, blah blah blah. It was my mum he asked, and she told him.

I asked him why I should, he was like so he would get stuff for me. I just said in my mind; this man must think I'm stupid o.

The thing is most of them do not feel it is wrong for them to have girlfriends. I have said it countless times; there are girls that would still date married men. If you are married and you have made up your mind to cheat, stay away from girls who are not interested in dating married men and find those who are genuinely interested in married men. It is that simple.

What do you guys think? The sender and I will be in the comment section. If you sent your story and I have not published it, please be patient. There are a lot of stories on this discourse, and I will get to yours. Have a wonderful week.


  1. Married men can have female friends, but must not be sexually attracted to them. Come to think of it, they had female friends before they got married, right? Being sexually attracted to one of these friends and cheating on your wife is something I don't consider appropriate.

    1. Well, some people feel it is okay because men are polygamous in nature. Such a weak line for insecure and undisciplined men

  2. I have small battery, lemme drop what I think.
    First of all, let's establish that nothing is inherently right or wrong, it's just perspective that labels it so.
    Right or wrong is based on a set of rules and regulations a society decides to abide by based on some reasons, but overtime these right or wrong can be changed, in other words, right or wrong is dynamic. A case in point is during the Roman Era, a Roman citizen has the right to own a slave, but now owning a slave is wrong, that's just a scenario of the dynamism of right or wrong.
    Now back to the girlfriend thing, having a girlfriend is not wrong, it's just the idea that society holds (quite recently with the advent of monotheism. When I say recently I mean thousands of years, but compared to how old humans have walked the earth, you would agree it's a recent thing) that one man should be with one woman because of some reasons (I guess population control, easier to maintain a relationship with one person, control of the spread of STIs etc). Having a girlfriend in itself isn't bad, it's just the kind of society we find ourselves. Just like being gay and women working were seen as wrong several decades ago, but now it is seen as a right thing.

  3. Married man?
    Girl friend?
    I don't agree. You should smell foul if after the first encounter he doesn't suggest he is married (although telling you upfront doesn't change what he has in mind).

    I agree he would have friends (men and ladies) but it must have a defined goal.

    1. You should see my Whatsapp inbox. People are justifying that and when I asked if a married woman can have a boyfriend, the same people want to nail me to the cross.

  4. 😂😂 People will always be hypocrites, supporting notions when it favors them, my personal opinion is both men and women who are married you can have friends, but it should never be a dating relationship, please let's set out boundaries 👌

  5. I really like to know, do married women chase boys?


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